One dark and cloudy day, I bought a copy of Mario 64 from an old guy at Sears. I probably shouldn't have trusted him, because as much as I liked his moustache, it struck me as very untrustworthy, and also the game was previously owned by some kid who died or something. Nonetheless, I took the game home and started playing. Much to my confusion, it was not a copy of Mario 64 at all. It was a game with a little girl who runs up to me and speaks a lot of stuff in Japanese, and also there is a bird that I'm pretty sure really wants me to stop playing the game, but then all of a sudden it was Mario 64, but it was dark, and very scary things were happening, and then when I thought it couldn't get any more the scarier, all of a sudden, Mario's head was a Goomba.